


I'm Home

by swtltlmrvlgrl



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America, Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, Steve Rogers - Fandom
Genre: Bucky Barnes AU, F/M, Marvel Universe, Steve Rogers AU - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 10:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10592562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swtltlmrvlgrl/pseuds/swtltlmrvlgrl
Summary: Reader got sick so Steve decided to put her out of a mission, but reader doesn’t like it and ended up having a fight with his best friend, Steve. Steve asked Bucky to take care of her (bringing all the fluff into the story).Eventually, feelings were revealed. (Whose feelings? You’ll know once you read it ;) )





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this will be my AO3 post, I'm testing the waters here so...  
> This is already uploaded at my tumblr account (swtltlmrvlgrl.tumblr.com), I'll be uploading my other fic works here maybe after I see how all this turns out.  
> If it doesn't turn out okay, maybe I'll just stick to posting my fics on tumblr. Haha!
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> Also, don't forget to leave a feedback or something!! They're HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

A day before Christmas and the cold climate got into your system, now you have cough and cold. You were lying on your bed when you heard F.R.I.D.A.Y from the speakers.

“Good day, Ms. Y/F/N. The Captain wants everyone to the conference hall now. Hydra seemed to have attacked a certain facility by the north coast.”

“Wow. Those Hydra agents really don’t know the meaning of ‘holidays’, do they? Okay F.R.I.D.A.Y, tell Steve I’ll be coming down in two min -  ah choo!”

“It seems that you are sick Ms. Y/F/N, do you want me to tell the captain?”

“No need. I don’t really want to miss out on my missions, especially if it’s a day before Christmas.”

You changed your clothes, blew your nose and headed down to the conference room. When you entered the room, Tony, Natasha, Sam and Bucky were already in there. The other Avengers took off and spent the holiday off with their loved ones.

“Looks like someone’s a little early for Christmas, the chimney’s that way, Rudolph” Tony said.

“Shut up, Stark.”

You decided to seat beside Bucky, who was typing something in his tablet.

“Hey, Buck.”

“Hi, doll.” he greeted, still looking at his tablet.

Bucky knew that you hated that pet name, and you would usually say something witty in return, but you didn’t and that fact made him take his eyes away from his tablet and then to you.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, Buck, just a little cold. Why’d you ask? Is the winter soldier afraid of catching a little cold? ” you said, then forced smirk.

Just when Bucky was about to say something back, Steve entered the room. He looked around the conference room then he looked at you. He then looked at Bucky and it looked like they were having a psychokinetic conversation of some sort, which lasted for couple of minutes. Somehow, your gut tells you that they’re psychokinetically talking about you, making you cough in response (or at least that’s what you think). This caught Steve’s attention. He looked at you again and asked,

“Y/N.  Are you okay? You don’t look very well.”

“I’m fine, Steve. It just got a little chilly. I guess a little too chilly to my liking, but I’ll get over it.  So what’s the mission?”

Steve looked like he wanted to tell you something, but decided not to and proceeded to briefing everyone.  The briefing proceeded smoothly, except for occasional coughs and sneezes from your direction.

“Now for the assignments, Tony and Sam, I want you to keep watch from above. There is a high possibility that there’s an exit not included in the blue print. Monitor the activities outside the facility. Nat and I, will go inside and find out why Hydra’s so interested in that facility”  He paused. “As for you two, Y/N and Bucky, I want you to stay in the tower.”

“What?!” you exclaimed.

Steve acted like he didn’t hear you and continued with his instructions.

“Please get your gears, and then we’ll meet in the quinjet after 5 minutes.”

You decided to shut up while waiting for the others to leave. When there was only you and Steve left in the conference hall, you stood up from your chair.

“Steve. Why are you letting me stay here?! You know how much I hate Hydra! You know how much I want to fight them, and you know how much I hate... Christmas.” You looked down, afraid that Steve will see the fluids coming out of your eyes.

 Steve walked towards you, his feet stopping at a distance – a few inches from yours.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say Y/N, but I will tell you what I know.  I know that there are people dying right now as we speak, I know that they need our help, and I know...” His voice was stern and authoritative. It was as if he wasn’t the best friend that you know and it made you look up. He took a step forward and looked straight into your eyes, “I know that I don’t want to baby sit a sick and useless soldier that will only hold us ba----” You  slapped him.

 “Congratulations, Captain America. You just a lost a best friend and now you’re the world’s biggest jerk.” You wiped your tears and then walked out of the room.

Steve just stood there.

 “You can come out now, you jerk.” Steve said.

From the dark corner of the room, Bucky emerged, “Well, at least I’m not the world’s biggest jerk.” He walked towards Steve, and gave his friend a tap on the shoulder and sat down at the chair behind Steve.

“Bucky.” Steve said, while clenching his fist. “Was I... too hard on her?”

Bucky sighed. “Honestly? I think you were a little on hard side. But I don’t think there’s any other way to make her stay so... ”

“I just want her to rest and to stay safe. And I... I don’t know.” Steve said and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Of course, you do, Steve. I want that too. That’s the reason why you made me stay, right? You don’t want her to be alone again on Christmas.”

 “Cap. We need you here A.S.A.P.” Tony’s voice from the radio comm. interrupted.

 “I’ll be there, Tony.” Steve responded.

 “Well, I guess you’re needed now, punk.” Bucky said, slowly standing up.

“I’ll leave her to you, Buck”

“You don’t even have to ask, Steve. She’s important to me too.” Then he tapped his back and signaling Steve to go to the quinjet.

 

After leaving the conference room, you went straight to your room, and cried.  If Tony or some other guy said those things to you, you would’ve just brushed it off, but it was Steve. Steve has been your best friend, you can be vulnerable around him, he knows everything about you – what makes you happy and what triggers your sad memories. The sting of pain from his words hurt you a thousand times more than any other man could.

You fell asleep, maybe because everything was just too painful for you to bear. Your body - sick physically and emotionally – decided to shut down on you.

_There was music playing. It was a Christmas song. Is it Christmas already?_

_“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer”_

_You were in a place - a very familiar place. You were washing the dishes. While you were doing so, a child was running around the hall. Your brother? He was happy, he was excited, he was about to open his Christmas present. You told him to open it up with mom and dad, and that you will go there as soon as you finish cleaning up the dishes. After hearing that, he smiled then laughed and then dashed towards the Christmas tree._

_“Had a very shiny nose”_

_He kept shouting, he doesn’t know which  gift to open first_

_“And if you ever saw it”_

_Then, he chose one wrapped on a red wrapper with gold ribbons. He opened it, and ..._

_“You could even say it glows”_

_BOOM!_

_Everything happened fast, just before you heard the sound of explosion, a hand took you away and hid you between his body and a circular metal that looked like a shield. Then you saw your house burning, and then everything went black._

_Just when you thought that everything was over. Three burnt figures approached you. It was your Mom, your Dad and your little brother, Billy. They were slowly approaching you, and you were afraid, but you wanted to run away but you can’t move your body, you panicked and then they grabbed you._

_“Why are still alive, Y/N?!”_

_“I’m sorry!” you shouted._

_“You should’ve been dead with us!!”_

_“I’m sorry!” you shouted again, trying to break free from their grip_

_“Y/N!”_

_“Y/N!!”_

“Y/N!”

“Y/N!”

“I’M SORRY!”

“Hey. Y/N. It’s me Bucky It’s okay. I’m here.” Bucky was gripping your shoulders and was lightly shaking you.

You were breathing fast, and your heart was also beating fast. You tried to process everything and assessed your surroundings, and then found yourself staring at Bucky’s steel-blue eyes. It was a dream - a nightmare, you told yourself. Bucky told you to breathe with him, and you did. You tried to relax, you breathed in and then out. Bucky then handed you a glass of water. Just when you were about to reach for the glass of water, your head ached. As if on cue, your body decided to remind you that you were sick, you sneezed and then coughed.

“Woah. Slow down, doll. Here. Drink this first.”

Instead of handing you the glass of water, he reached out to your lips and then you took a gulp. You pouted, but you were too tired to lift your hands so you allowed Bucky to assist you in drinking.

“Y/N. You have to do better than one gulp, or else you’ll never get better” then you drank the whole glass.

“Okay. Good girl. Now you eat this.”

“I don’t want to eat, Buck” you pouted again and then you slid under your blanket.

“Come on Y/N. Don’t be a baby. You need to eat this so you can get better. You want to join the missions again, right?”

You peeked and then slowly pulled your head and body up, and then nodded.

“Actually, Buck. I want to eat. You know me, I really do. But...” you paused and then looked down

“But, what?” Bucky questioned.

 “I’m just a teeny bit shy about the fact that I’m about to be spoon-fed by the Winter Soldier”

Bucky laughed and then put a porridge-containing-spoon in front your mouth. “You know we’ve done much more embarrassing stuff together, Y/N.”

“Right.” You responded and then blew your porridge before eating it.

Bucky was silent during the whole spoon-feeding session. It seemed like he was concentrating and was trying hard not to spill the hot porridge into a sick lady. You were also silent at that time, maybe too tired to actually banter with Bucky. After eating, Bucky gave you the medicine, and you immediately felt sleepy after drinking it.

“Good night, doll” and then you were faced with the darkness again.

 

           

“Cold...” was the first thing you said after opening your eyes.

Bucky immediately stood up, placed his tablet on the chair that he was seating on. He then touched your forehead and put the thermometer into your mouth.  The thermometer beeped and then Bucky looked at it.

“You still have a fever, Y/N. But it’s lower than it was a few hours ago. Maybe it’s just the air conditioner...  F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you please increase the temperature inside Y/N,s room, she’s feeling a little cold.”

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” He responded, while getting his book. He then pulled his chair closer to your bed.

You stared at Bucky and remembered the times when you were the one sitting and the chair and he was the one on the bed. It was the time when he was having a lot of nightmares, and he always asked you to stay with him, you didn’t really know why. One night when you were stargazing with Steve and Bucky, you asked why, and he said he was comfortable with you because Steve trusts you. He also said that somehow your presence felt like home. Steve agreed to that, but you didn’t really get what it meant.

“Please stop staring at me, you might fall in love with me.” Bucky said and his oh-so-famous smirk showed up.

“Oh. Shut up, James.” You retorted, laughing.

“You used the ‘James’ card: check. You’re laughing: check. You’re getting better. That’s good.” He yawned.

“I think you should sleep now, Bucky. I’ll be fine.” You told him, and then you pulled your hand up from inside the duvet, putting an effort to place your hands on his. “Sorry about this.” you continued.

“After all the effort of cooking for you, giving you food, and spoon-feeding you. I only get a sorry? Oh and let’s add  the fact that you’re asking me to go away. Ouch. Come on, Y/N. I deserve better than that.”

“What? You want a kiss Sergeant Barnes?” You laughed. “Sor—I mean, thank you, Bucky. Really, thanks for everything.”

“That’s more like it.” Then he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Well. There’s only you and me in this tower, and I don’t think I can really sleep well knowing that you still have a fever so I might as well stay here. But, if you really want me out, I mean, I will.” He said, and then pouted.

“Of course you can stay, Bucky.”

The lights suddenly turned off and were replaced by new sets of lights of varying colors, they were blinking and sparkling.

“Dashing through the snow...” a familiar voice suddenly sang, and then a screen suddenly appeared on the walls of your room, it was Tony, with Nat, Sam and Steve on the background.

“Hi Rudolph.” He said, and then you smiled. “Oops. Before you start responding to what I’m saying, right now. This is a pre-recorded video, that’s set to appear 12 AM of December 25. So if you’re watching this, I would like to greet you a very Merry Christmas. I hope that you’ll be able to watch this, ‘cause I know that you and Santa have a lot of kids to please this Christmas. ” Everyone on the background laughed. “But seriously though, Merry Christmas, Y/N. We’ll be back before you know it.”

“Tony might not realize this but, he really feels like a father. Don’t tell him that, he will be mad.” You told Bucky, your eyes still fixated on the screen in front of you.

Natasha and Sam also greeted you, hoping that when you get back you will feel better.

“We’ll kick Steve’s – I mean Hydra’s ass for you, Y/N. So get well soon!” Natasha said.

Then it was Steve’s turn. He put his right hand over his left shoulder – a habit he usually does when he’s nervous.

“Hey, Y/N.” he started. Bucky looked at you and noticed that the smile you had a few minutes ago was slowly disappearing. “I’m sorry about – I’m sorry about what happened, a while ago. I just – I just want -  Anyways, I hope you and Bucky are having a happy Christmas right now” he paused and then stared directly to the camera. “Please. Please take care of yourself and get well soon.”

The video ended, and for a few minutes the whole room was silent.

Breaking the silence, Bucky decided to speak up.

“You know... Y/N. I mean, no offense but, you know Steve didn’t really meant what he said a while ago.”

You looked at Bucky and said,

“I know that Bucky. Because, he’s Steve, he’s not just a good guy. He is THE good guy. So I know... I understand. He’s just worried about me. And him going all Captain America on me, it means he’s dead serious about letting me stay. He also used the ‘insecurity’ card. That’s how desperate he was on making me stay.” You took a deep breath, as the tears starts to fall. “It’s just that seeing the people that I love... dying, while I’m here ... being safe. It just feels wrong to me, especially now that it’s Christmas and the wounds on my family’s death they somehow resurface... I just – I don’t know. I think I’m just extra sensitive every Christmas”

Bucky sighed, sat down next to you on your bed. He put his right arm under your head and placed his hand on your right shoulder. This gesture made you place your head on his chest, while he was gliding his hands over your arms in an up-and-down motion.

“I know what you’re thinking Y/N. You’re thinking that everything’s your fault, and that you should’ve been dead with your family. Guess what, it really is. It’s your fault.” He paused.

 “It’s your fault that they are still alive, through your memories, through your values and through the way you actually live your life doing the things that they taught you. You are their second chance of living and actually wishing to be dead with them, is like depriving them that chance.”

You were moved with what Bucky said, you wanted to look at him but instead you pulled him into a tight hug and allowed yourself to sink into his chest. You cried and he held you tighter, his warmth giving you so much warmth and comfort. You cried so hard, bringing all the pain, anger and regret along with the tears. For the first time in your life, you felt free.

 It took a while before the tears stopped.

“Bucky” you said in a soft voice

“Hmm?” he answered. You can feel his breath right above your head.

“I always wanted to tell you something, but didn’t really get the chance.”

“What is it?”

It took you a moment before responding.

“You smell REALLY nice.” You looked up at him and winked at him. He chuckled.

“Shut up. You can’t even smell me, dork. You have a cold.” he said, and pinched your nose.

“Oh...” you continued, “But seriously, though, thank you, Bucky. This Christmas is probably my best so far.” You looked at him at smiled.

“Any time,Y/N. Any time.” He then pulled himself out of the hug, but he left his right hand on your right shoulder.

“Too bad. Steve isn’t here with us.”

“His loss. That’s what he get for being the world’s biggest jerk.” He said, and then smirked.

You laughed, “Yeah.”

“Bucky?” you added, a tone of sleepiness present in your voice.

“Yeah?”

“Remember the time when you told me I reminded you of home?” your eyes, slowly closing

“I said that?”

You punched him, your eyes still closed.

“Well. Yeah, you did. You told me I reminded you of home, and I didn’t really get it at that time. But...” You were slowly falling asleep, your voice becoming softer and softer.

“Now I get it” you added, “You and Steve, the two of you, you also remind me of home. I don’t want  --- ”

 “You don’t want what Y/N? Y/N?” Then he looked at you, “What? You fell asleep while talking?” He giggled. “How cute.”

With his free hand, he patted your head and fixed the hair covering your eyes. He also tugged a few stray hairs behind your ears. He wiped the trail of tears still present on your face. He wanted to fix your sleeping position into a more comfortable one, so he tried to move, but you hugged him tightly.

“I don’t want to lose you.” You murmured still asleep, and Bucky smiled.

“Sleep talking now, huh?  How cute, Y/N.” he paused and then sighed, “Y/N. Stop making me fall in love with you more.” He said, kissing your forehead. He then closed his eyes and pulled you closer to him.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

Bucky might’ve been too focused on you that he didn’t realize Steve was just standing by the door of your room. He was there when Bucky was running his fingers through your face and when he confessed his feelings for you. He felt a sudden pang of emotion when he saw how Bucky looked at you and how he held you into his arms, and how you looked so contented being in Bucky’s arms.  He felt sad, he felt ... jealous


End file.
